As an American gay male in today’s society, I’m frequently ‘interpreted’ as being the boyfriend of all of my friends; men and women, but mostly women. It’s a weird realization; I’m assumed to be someone I’m not because of how we’ve been conditioned to think. When I go out to the bars, it’s funny how both myself and my ‘girlfriend’ of the moment are immediately removed from the singles list.
My favorite though is when my ‘girlfriends’ WANT me to be the stand in boyfriend. Whether it be to protect from a creep on the dance floor, a pair of gifts for the ‘couple,’ or simply to avoid having to explain my sexuality to uncomfortable individuals, I’m quick to take on the role; let’s face it, it’s assumed anyway, I might as well benefit if the cause is genuine.
The other night I was out at PnG’s in New Paltz with a group of my ‘girlfriends.’ It was a unique night in that I was with five females; one straight, four not so much. We were on the dance floor and anytime I looked around I would see the eyes of crazed men wanting nothing more than to get lucky. I could see my friends starting to realize the problem as men approached and were slightly physical with them as well, as attempts were made to knock me out of the picture; this only drives me closer to them, benefiting all but the ‘luck’ seekers.
Eventually it reached a point of me not wanting to be bumped into anymore, and making a remark to one of the many surrounding predators that they were “barking up the wrong tree.” I thought this was a civil remark, an attempt to save their egos, but I suppose I was wrong; in the same way I’m ‘wrong’ for being gay. Next thing I know, one of the guys has his hand around my neck and is threatening me while attempting to choke me. Great.
I remember making the remark of, “are you seriously trying to choke me? Do you want to get kicked out? Get your fucking hand off my neck.” He was not happy with that. My straight friend got involved and tried to reason with the (waste of a) man, who was freaking out as if I was the one who choked him. HOW DARE I be offended that someone tried to choke me, and then stand up for myself. I simply went on with my night and continued to dance with my friends. What’s unfortunate is that I’m sure he found another girl to call his own for the night, one that doesn’t know he was willing to choke a man for sex.
It’s hard to be a civil person in a world where men think they can have their way with everything their eyes see. Shame on me for seeing the world in a different light, one filled with equality.
